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| I'll still write here, but I have a secondary. Take a look please: weeklyfanfic.blogspot.com | | |
| Kimmy: What can I say? You’re my best friend. You’ve kept my sanity all year, because I wasn’t going to school every day just because I had to. I was going so I could make fun of all your stupid moments. We had some amazing moments this year. From “The Boat” to dress shopping for semi, and me running around David’s Bridal in that purple dress. I would have been such a different person this year if we hadn’t hung out as much as we did. I love you, biffle. Eric [Loserface]: Who would I be a complete asshole with if I didn’t have you? Seriously, there’s no other person to whom I can make bitchy remarks and all they do is curse me out in response. You’re amazing. You’re like a cousin to me. A really evil, stupid, annoying cousin, but a cousin nonetheless. We still need to hang out. Chris B: Dude. You’ve kept me from jumping off a cliff since we met. Besides that, we can have the most random, pointless conversations ever and know exactly what we’re talking about. You’re so cool, and you have such good taste in music [with the exception of Miyavi – lol.] Plus, there’s no one else who would let me make fun of their Sparkley Booterfliez! The MangaNEXT ’07 Werewolves: I’m going to be honest…Werewolf, at the time when we were playing, was very much an escape for me. While we played, I was happy. I never had that experience at a convention before. I felt like I was one of you, and not “the other one.” It made me feel normal for the first time in my life. Other conventions will come, as will other werewolves, but you guys hold a special place in my heart. Some of you will get individual mentions, but all of you are important to me. Thanks for making me happy. J Ben S: You are someone who knows me very well. When I first started trying to explain my emotional state to you, you didn’t question or judge me. You just listened. It was a very defining moment for me. I still remember it clearly. I do admit, however, that I might have gotten a bit over the top. [Especially around CPAC] But you never failed to listen. I really started to feel like I was taking advantage of you, so if you were wondering why I stopped coming to you, especially recently, that was why. I do consider you a close friend. And by the way, you still owe me that chill time. [I never forget.] XD Roger: There is something to say, but at the same time there isn’t. And whether you realize it or not, that one phone call we had really helped me emotionally. I do hope we can become better friends over the summer. J Erick: I decided to wait for you until last for a few reasons. I know you don’t like attention, so I’ll make this short. Thank you for allowing me to see a tiny bit inside your world. The fact that you trusted me, even a tiny little bit, made me happy. | | |
| I need to try to explain what's going through my head at this moment. On Saturday Night, a lot of shit happened. From Xanax threats to Corsetry at two AM, I enjoyed every moment of it. Some Highlights: 1. The Phone Call from Chris Greco where John ended up having Phone Sex with Andrew. 2. Me being half asleep on the couch and all of a sudden hearing "Mimi?" And looking up and seeing Roger staring at me and knowing it was Roger but not registering it. 3. The WW Punking. Funny shit. 4. Bribing John with Xanax when I had no intention of giving him any. But then, after this amazing night, I had a very exhausting morning. And during this morning, I had what some would call and "Epiphany" A two-part Epiphany at least. Part One: I no longer had feelings for someone I was convinced I had feelings for. I think I just had feelings for this person because I thought they were all I could get. Part Two: I have feelings for one of my friends, but sadly they have a significant other. I'm not sure, however, if I am just starstruck and only think I have feelings for them, or I really do. I guess Time will Tell... | | |
| I'm not happy at home... I'm not happy at school... I'm not happy anywhere... I'm Scared. | | |
| i'm fine, really i am. i'm not upset. i'm just tired. i'll be fine. don't worry about me. i'm ok. i'll be alright. i'm not angry with you. don't be upset. everything is fine. everything is good. everything is perfect. nothing's wrong. really, nothing's wrong, ok? i just feel a little sick. i shouldn't have had so much to eat. i'll be fine in a minute. i'm ok. don't worry. smile. no, i'm not crying. there's something in my eye. just nevermind. look at me. look at me. see? what? oh, yeah, i'm fine. i was just joking. really, i'm just tired, kay? nothing is wrong. life is great. i love it. i love it. i love you. oops, ha ha, just joking again. that would be too weird, wouldn't it? yeah. but i love you as a friend. forever and always. i told you - there's something in my eye. i'm fine. i'm ok. absolutely nothing's wrong. i'm just tired. i'm not upset. stop asking that. i already told you i'm fine. let it go. drop it, ok? no. i'm not going to tell you anything - there's nothing to tell. i'm fine. everything is perfect. i'm not upset. nothing's bothering me, got it? leave me alone. i'm fine. nothing's wrong. yes, am i feeling better, thank you. still a little out of it though. sorry, what was that? i wasn't paying attention. yeah, i'm fine. i'm great. what about you? i'm not changing the subject. i'm being polite. you know - manners. it's rude to press. i told you i'm fine, i'm not changing the subject - you are. what's wrong? are you sure it's nothing? hah, ok. i couldn't sleep last night either. have some coffee. it might help. it does. that's good. no, i still feel tired. i guess caffeine isn't a substitute for sleep after all. no, i do go to bed at a reasonable time. i just can't fall asleep. no idea. i thought we were finished with that. i'm fine. nothing's wrong. just drink your coffee and shut up. leave me alone. i am telling you the truth. don't you trust me? you don't. you don't. it doesn't matter what you say. you just refuse to listen. why should i talk to you? you think i'm a liar. i'm fine. stop asking. just shut up and leave me alone now. i answered all your questions. that's what you wanted, isn't it? now stop. yes i did. i told you the truth. the whole truth. nothing left out at all. stop it. i'm fine. you don't have to interrogate me. i feel fine, really, i do. there's no reason to worry. you're not helping. i don't need help. i don't want help. nothing's wrong. shut up. i'm not myself? will you just drop it? it's nothing. i'll be fine. i'm just tired. what are you talking about? i'm not making excuses. i'm trying to explain. why don't you ever listen? stop over reacting. i'm sorry. i'm not mad at you. but really, it's nothing. i'm fine. nothing's wrong. stop asking, ok. just leave me alone. i don't need any help. i'm ok. can you just let this go? do you need to make an argument out of everything? leave me alone! shut up. i'm happy. i'm content. nothing's wrong. nothing is at all out of place. just try to ease up. let it go. it's not important. it's nothing. let's talk about something else, please. anything else. i don't care. i am fine. i told you - i don't want to have this conversation again. will you just drop it? i'm fine! now stop it! i mean it. it don't want to discuss this any more. i am absolutely fine. nothing's wrong! shut up! i am not listening to any more of this. get out. i mean it. now. no. i don't want to hear it. i mean what i say. obviously you don't understand that. are you crying? oh my god. i'm sorry. i'm just so frustrated. i feel like you don't believe a word i say. that would frustrate you, too, wouldn't it? i didn't want to make you so upset. i'm sorry. i'm really am. please, just stop crying. thank you. but i still think you need to trust me. you'll try? try? i guess i can live with that. for now. want some coffee? i'll make a fresh pot. i could use a cup of it, myself. no, still not sleeping well. what? don't look at me like that. like there's some deeper meaning in everything i say. there isn't. get over it and move on. i'm sick of being treated like this. | | |
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